


Hamilheroes

by stardustandswimmingpools



Series: hamilton prompt fills [9]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gen, M/M, Memes, Superheroes, anyway, except aaron burr because he and theo are absolute Goals, god these tags took forever i don't know whether it's ao3 or my school computers but it's shit, i keep using her prompts hehe, i love chat jokes, i think this was a teastakingover prompt, it's 18 pages in my docs but that might be because it's like double spaced, marvel is better, no of fence, this got way longer than it should be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8443903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustandswimmingpools/pseuds/stardustandswimmingpools
Summary: The "which superhero would you be and why" conversation that Peggy initiates at almost 11pm, because when else would you have this conversation?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TeasTakingOver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeasTakingOver/gifts).



> this has been in my docs for awhile and it's longer than it should be lol oops  
> 1\. another teastakingover prompts you know her username is just tea's taking over raviv's ao3 fics  
> 2\. I like Marvel better than DC please don't fight me on it I don't know a lot about superheroes  
> 3\. please if you have any ideas on which of these dudes is which superhero PUT IT IN THE COMMENTS we will discuss in depth  
> 4\. there is an amelie reference in this in honor of Pippa's role as amelie in the broadway show!! cheers to the love of my life Philippa Soo <3  
> 5\. There is also a Thoroughly Modern Millie reference in honor of my role as Millie in the community theatre show!! cheers to me HA  
> 6\. Lafayette is in france while this chat is happening just for ref  
> 7\. enjoy yourself!!
> 
>  **xande** — Alex  
>  **heracles** — Hercules  
>  **fluffayette** — Lafayette  
>  **johnald** — John  
>  **elizard** — Eliza  
>  **hairgelica** — Angelica  
>  **pegleg** — Peggy  
>  **thegoodreynolds** — Maria  
>  **jeffersin** — Jefferson  
>  **jmadsatyou** — Madison  
>  **burrn** — Burr

ham fam chat

10:47 p.m.

 

**pegleg:** im about to do soemthing unforgivable but you ahve to forgive me for it

**hairgelica:** when you start a conversation like that it’s surprisingly unconvincing

**pegleg:** trust me it’s crucial

**johnald:** as long as you dont MOTHERUFKICNG TP ANYONE’S HOUSE

**pegleg:** THAT WAS ONE TIME

**johnald:** IT WAS WASHINGOTN’S HOUSE

**pegleg:** I WAS DRUNJK

**elizard:** YOU WER EWHAT

**pegleg:** FUCK ALL YALL

**_pegleg_ ** _ has added  _ **_jeffersin, jmadsatyou_ ** _ and  _ **_burrn_ ** _ to the chat _

**xande:** what

**xande:** the

**xande:** fuck

**xande:** waht he fuck peggy

**xande:** margarita peggy motherfucking schuyler what in the fucking name of fuck have you fucking fucking done

**xande:** GET THE M OUT THEYRE POISIOINGN IT

**heracles:** alex they havent even spoken yet please relax

**jeffersin:** What is this chat?

**xande:** IT SPEAKS

**xande:** AND IT USES GRAMMAR TOO

**xande:** FUCKC WE’RE ALL DOOMED PEGGY WHY 

**pegleg:** I HAVE AN IMPORTANT MATTER TO DISCUSS AND EVEROYNE NEESD TO BE PRESENT

**johnald:** this better be reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally fuckin good peggy

**jmadsatyou:** what is going on where am i

**xande:** madison

**xande:** i am so sorry you have to spend all your time with an asshole like jefferson

**jmadsatyou:** i dont know how to respond to that i like thomas

**thegoodreynolds:** WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS THOMAS JEFFFERSON DOING HERE GET HIM O U T

**pegleg:** NO

**pegleg:** important discussion topic: which superhero would you be and why

**johnald:** THIS IS WHY YOU CALLED US ALL TOGETHER

**hairgelica:** noah fence bu t that doesn’t seem exactly legitimate

**pegleg:** you don’t seem exaclty legitimate

**hairgelica:** actually alex isn’t legitimate so

**hairgelica:** [butthatsnoneofmybusiness.gif]

**xande:**  OWOHA

**xande:** block’t 

**heracles:** does hercules count as a superhero because

**heracles:** for some reason i think ild fit that bill

**fluffayette:** WH Y A RE YOU ALL AWAKE

**heracles:** shit shitshisthisthisihti sorry babe

**xande:** SHIT SORRY

**fluffayette:** i hate time zones

**jeffersin:** Hello, Lafayette.

**fluffayette:** WHATH IS HE DOING OIN OUR GTOUPR HCAT

**fluffayette:** i cwoke up to have a good time and. im nonestly feeling so attacked

**xande:** nonestly

**hairgelica:** nonestly

**elizard:** nonestly

**burrn:** this chat moves faster than i can think

**xande:** you have independent thoughts?

**burrn:** fuck OFF alexander

**pegleg:** guys i was so serious this was a Sacrifice that i just made yall betteer tell me what goddamn superhero you would be

**xande:** superman obviously??????????????????

**johnald:** LMFAO

**hairgelica:** lets not fucking lie to ourselves alex

**fluffayette:** hercules would be superman

**fluffayette:** he’s strong and hot and really nice

**xande:** …………………………………………

**xande:** i know i just got dragged but laf makes some good points so.

**jeffersin:** Hamilton would be Robin — useless, but people think he’s helpful because he tags along at every scene.

**xande:** i keep forgetting youre here

**johnald:** [immaletyoufinishbut.jpg]

**johnald:** first of all alex is super hot and sexy, and robin is only mildly attractive

**johnald:** second alex is literally the smartest person i know. like. i have met george washington. i have met NELSON MANFUCKIGNGDELA.

**hairgelica:** i hate to say this but yea thats true

**elizard:** yeah no i agree

**elizard:** alex is definitely the smartest person i know

**elizard:** academically wise that is

**elizard:** he did cheat on me for six months

**burrn:** you met nelson mandela??

**johnald:** no but it was a good effect

**thegoodreynolds:** eliza dont worry it wasnt that good i faked it a lot of the time

**xande:** I CAN FEEL THIS CONVERSATION VEERING TOWARDS A DIRECIOTN WE SHOULD AVOID SO LETS GO BACK TO WHERE JOHN WAS COMPLIMENTING ME

**johnald:** also alex has great hair and robin has like No Hair

**johnald:** also he’s really good at The Sex

**xande:** [iwouldlovetohavethesexwithyou.gif]

**jmadsatyou:** complete information overload thaknks you can stop now thaNKs a lot

**hairgelica:** our little ace baby

**jmadsatyou:** if you call me that one more time i will snap all your hair ties

**hairgelica:** *DRAMATIC GASP* you WOULDN’T

**jmadsatyou:** i would

**pegleg:** well he can certainly issue a threat

**thegoodreynolds:** GUYSGUYSGUYSGUFYS FUCK GUYS

**thegoodreynolds:** THE PERFECT SUPERHERO TO REPRESENT ALEX

**thegoodreynolds:** DEADPOOL

**thegoodreynolds:** DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT BEING GOOD AS LONG AS HE DOES WHAT HE WANTS BUT ALSO HE CAN SOMEHOW FEEL HUMAN EMOTION BUT ALSO HE WILL DESTROY U  AND UR CAREER AND UR LIFE IF YOU FUCK W HIM

**pegleg:** LITERLALY PERFECT

**pegleg:** my girlfriend is so smort

**jeffersin:** Girlfriend? When did that happen?

**xande:** your text language makes me want to vomit full offense

**jeffersin:** Your existence makes me want to vomit on a daily basis, Hamilton.

**hairgelica:** o shit

**fluffayette:** NO Of FENCE BUT I AM TRYING TO SLEEP SO FUCKIGN SHITU UP

**heracles:** no of fence

**fluffayette:** is that not how it is spelled

**heracles:** no offense

**thegoodreynolds:** hate to be that guy but

**thegoodreynolds:** i already ordered 3 tshirts with no of fence on it

**hairgelica:** im painitng it on all my walls

**elizard:** i ordered a mug with the words no of fence just erepeated over and over

**pegleg:** im spray painting it on the side ofm y motorcycle and im naming my next boat No Of Fence

**elizard:** whY DO YOU HAV A MOTORCYCLE

**heracles:** yeah and why would you name it no of fence

**johnald:** peggy no of fence but thats soooooo gay

**pegleg:** only a true Gay can Gay like me

**johnald:** me and alex could out-Gay you

**xande:** *******************alex and i

**pegleg:** that was horrific and no u could not

**hairgelica:** peggy i adore you and i will support you in your life choices no amtter what but

**hairgelica:** uh, alex and john could out-gay anyone

**jmadsatyou:** even i, a simple ace, am affected by their gay

**xande:** yes we all know that we see you makin eyes at jefferson

**jmadsatyou:** ……………………………………………….

**johnald:** thanks ofr all the support guys i knew we were the gayest 

**xande:** mirror mirror on the wall whos the gayest of them all

**hairgelica: ********* who’s

**xande:** tou fucking che

**pegleg:** lets get back on track. personally i think i would be harley quinn

**hairgelica:** Bitch!! i am harley quinn 

**johnald:** YOU KNOW WHAT

**johnald:** IF ALEXI S DEADPOOL DOES THAT MAKE ME SPIDERMAN

**xande:** actually that’s perfect

**burrn:** I can see you as spiderman

**xande:** stop talking

**heracles:** john would be a perfect spiderman

**fluffayette:** even though it is almost 5 i nthe mornign here in france i will participate in this conversation

**fluffayette:** john would be a perfect spiderman he is small and flexible and many people underestimate him but really he is a star

**xande:** precisely

**thegoodreynolds:** also he likes helping people and people ship spiderman with deadpool so

**jeffersin:** Angelica is Black Widow.

**hairgelica:** I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH EBECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO TYPE THAT

**burrn:** …….yeah that sounds about right

**heracles:** vicious towards men but also really nice to some people but mostly just really vicious

**xande:** sounds like angie

**hairgelica:** ufkcing canll me angie again

**xande:** A N G I E

**jmadsatyou:** he’s demonstrating how perfectly he fits the role of deadpool

**jeffersin:** He certainly is ugly enough.

**xande:** are you getting laid 24/7????/??? by the literal hottest sexiest sweetest coolest greatest bestest perfectest smartest-after-me-est person on earth????????/ i think no. so zip it

**johnald:** babe :’)

**xande:** babe :’’’’’’’’’’’’’’)))))))))))))

**johnald:** love u

**xande:** backatcha

**pegleg:** im accounting for erryone so far

**pegleg:** alex is deadpool; john is spiderman; herc is superman; angelica is black window; i am harley quinn; i’m officially stating that liza is wonderwoman

**hairgelica:** BLACK WINDOW

**pegleg:** F U C K

**fluffayette:** now, i will be “that guy”

**fluffayette:**  i am naming my first child black window

**xande:** HE MEMED AGAIN

**heracles:** i feel like a proud father

**jmadsatyou:** that’s weird considering youre his boyfriend

**heracles:** came out to have a good time,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

**xande:** woah did madison just roast hercules mulligan master of all roasts???????????????????

**xande:** #TheWorldTurnedUpsideDownMothafuckas

**xande:** madison is Robin

**xande:** he’s pretty useless but people really like him and he tags along behind batman and acts cool

**jmadsatyou:** i would be so offended but honestly??/ u rite

**fluffayette:** does that mean jefferson is batman

**elizard:** UH,M

**jeffersin:** Saving cities from trauma and horror? Sounds like me.

**xande:** MORE LIKE TERRORIZING CHILDREN WITH YOUR SCARY ASS MASK AND YOUR DEEP VOICE LIKE MOTHERFUCKNIGN POLYPHEMUS PLUS YOU SMELL TERRIBLE AND YOU ARE USELESS

**elizard:** Calm Down™

**jeffersin:** You’re just jealous because you wish you were Batman, riding around saving people and killing bad guys. You’re the bad guy everyone is after.

**xande:** lol but did i cheat on my wife tho??????????/

**xande:** NO

**xande:** I DID NOT

**thegoodreynolds:** …...hes not wrong

**jeffersin:** You’re unbelievable, Hamilton.

**xande:** i grudgingly allow u the title of batman only because the majority of people think he’s useless because literally all his power comes from his dumb car and even his OUTFIT is stupid sO

**hairgelica:** wow we got an anti-batman over here

**xande:** he cant even FLY

**johnald:** marvel is better

**pegleg:** *eyes emoji*

**jmadsatyou:** i like dc but spiderman tho……...he’s just so cool

**xande:** i know im dating him

**johnald:** thats kind of weird and kind of hot

**hairgelica:** That’s Kind of Weird and Kind of Hot: title of alex’s sex tape

**xande:** DID YOU JSUT JAKE PERALTA ME

**xande:** I AM OUTRAGED……….,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, IN YM OWN HOEM

**pegleg:** hoem

**heracles:** the typos, they are Endless

**pegleg:** who has no t been assigned a superhero

**fluffayette:** i have not but i am so tired i cannot think of any superheroes

**heracles:** i think eliza could be wonder woman but have u considered……...eliza schuyler is captain america

**hairgelica:** ……………………….

**hairgelica:** FUCK taht makes so much sense

**elizard:** damn thats awesome i had (have) the biggest mtoherfucker of a crush on captain america

**thegoodreynolds:** that actually does makes sense

**thegoodreynolds:** good heart, very kind, weirdly high tolerance for alcohol, cares about all people, will do anything for a best friend, has a lot of love to give, but also no patience for dicks and WILL Beat u Up™ if you mess w her

**hairgelica:** yea dont cross paths with eliza schuyler

**xande:** i can testify for htat

**johnald:** haha

**johnald:** you said…….TESTEify

**burrn:** that was maybe the saddest thing i have ever witnessed in my whole entire lifetime

**xande:** cant believe im agreeing with burr but. john that was so sad

**johnald:** leave me alone

**pegleg:** doesnt harley quinn have a motorcylce????/ im pretty sure yes

**burrn:** ……...have you seen any film with harley quinn in it

**pegleg:** no i just know she’s badass and hot

**pegleg:** two things i very much am

**xande:** WAIT WAITWAITWAITWAIT

**xande:** MARIA REYNOLDS I SEE YOUR DEADPOOL AND RAISE YOU SCARLET WITCH

**xande:** breaking news have u read this maria reynolds is scarlet witch she’s sweet and cares about people but also manipulative. as FUCK.,,,,

**elizard:** if youre blaming maria for SLEEPING WITH HER  i will knock your teeth out you bastard

**xande:** I AM NOT BLAMING HER

**xande:** im just saying she can be manipulative

**pegleg:** yeah thats true

**pegleg:** the other day we were @ the grocery store

**pegleg:** we were checking out, she wanted a candy bar, i said no, she begged me, i said no, then she BRIBED me and i had to buy it

**jmadsatyou:** what did she bribe you with

**thegoodreynolds:** i dont think u want to know

**xande:** WELL I DO NOW

**thegoodreynolds:** lol nope you will Never Find Out

**xande:** THE POINT IS she is manipulative

**pegleg:** ok maria as scarlet witch, jefferson is batman & madison is robin, eliza is captain america,

**pegleg:** laf we need some1 for you

**thegoodreynolds:** actually FUCK you knwo what

**thegoodreynolds:** alex is tony stark i take everythign back

**xande:** SHIT U RITE

**elizard:** WH LSDJFDKLS DID THEY WRITE TAHT ROLE SPEICIFCIALLY FOR YOU

**hairgelica:** o my god

**hairgelica:** arrogant but devilishly handsome, a huge dumbass but also really fucking genius, doesnt sleep, doesnt eat well but is somehow ripped as fuck, gradually becomes less of a dumbass but is mostly a dumbass

**johnald:** i dont know how you know that he is ripped as fuck but all of that is true

**jmadsatyou:** um i mean this in the least weird way possible

**jmadsatyou:** but. everyone kinda knows that he is Ripped As Fuck

**elizard:** yeah it kinda………..shows

**elizard:** thru his shirts

**xande:** shithish ithsihtish what

**heracles:** yea even im impressed like when the fuck do you find time to exercise alex

**xande:** I Have My Ways

**pegleg:** even if alex is iron man that still works because spiderman is basically in love with tony stark

**johnald:** u caught me im in love with alex

**xande:** aww you like me??? thats so embarrassing that you just said that to the whole group chat

**johnald:** alexander we have been dating for like two years

**heracles:** LAFAYETTE IS THOR

**heracles:** sorry ive been pondering while you guys chatted and it makes perfect sense

**heracles:** first of all he’s ripped. as. fuck. like. he could give alex a run for his money it’s really hot

**elizard:** herc has never opened up about how hot laf is before im not sure how to feel

**heracles:** hush

**heracles:** anyway second of all he has trouble comprehending basic functionalities

**heracles:** like Memes and some other stuff that is crucial to survival

**heracles:** also h

**heracles:** also he means well and wants the best for every1

**heracles:** and lastly he’s from a foreign place

**heracles:** where he is tragically located right now far away from me, his loving boyfriend,,,,,,,,,,

**elizard:** that was beautiful

**pegleg:** im impressed

**burrn:** not to be intrusive and not that i particularly want to be a superhero but i am the only person now in this group chat that hasnt been assigned a superhero SO

**pegleg:** people

**pegleg:** important PSA

**pegleg:** i googled it and apparently harley quinn does not have a motorcycle so now i cant be her

**thegoodreynolds:** that’s ok u can be hawkeye

**pegleg:** OUCH i thought u loved me?????????!!!!!!!!!!

**pegleg:** They ask you how you are and you have to say you’re fine, but you’re not really fine and you just can’t get into it because they would never understand.

**jmadsatyou:** i love that meme

**xande:** im gonna be so honest w u madison i really think you should legally change ur name to Memes Memesison

**jmadsatyou:** tempting as that is im gonna go with no the fuck way

**hairgelica:** i ju st fell off my motherfucking chair laughing that wasn that funy n y FUCK

**elizard:** no its ok i dropped my phone on my face

**pegleg:** PEOPLE PEOPLE P E O P L E

**pegleg:** I NEED TO BE A SUPERHERO I REFUSE TO NOT BE A SUPERHERO

**elizard:** i got it

**elizard:** green lantern

**fluffayette:** i think a green lantern would not give as much light, no?

**heracles:** omg laf i adore you

**fluffayette:** thank you but i am serious

**jeffersin:** It’s a movie, Lafayette. There’s a superhero called Green Lantern.

**fluffayette:** oh

**fluffayette:** the fucking french have no good films

**elizard:** i beg to differ they did create amelie

**xande:** ugh boring what are you a young flapper trying to make your way in new york city in the 20s (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

**hairgelica:** that’s thoroughly modern millie

**xande:** fuck its all the same

**elizard:** amelie is a Classic™ and iF ONE OF YALL GOT A PROBLEM WIT HTAHT 

**elizard:** WE CAN FUCKING G O

**pegleg:** i would be such a good green lantern you fucking guys

**fluffayette:** what does this green lantern do? is he a person?

**xande:** here laf

**xande:** [greenlantern.jpg, haljordan.jpg, theactuallantern.jpg, greenlanternonwikipedia.jpg]

**xande:** that last one is a screenshot of wikipedia i spared u having to google ityourself you are welcome

**laf:** why thank u alexandre

**burrn:** hamilton why is your chat name xande i always wondered

**xande:** because fucking go to brazil and educate yourself you uncultured swine shit

**hairgelica:** that was soooo unecessarily harsh omg

**johnald:** like you wouldnt have done the EXACT sAME thing

**hairgelica:** i didnt say that

**pegleg:** EVERYONE SHUT UP SO I CAN JUST HASH THIS OUT OK GOD

**pegleg:** alex is iron man; john is spiderman; laf is thor; herc is superman; ange is black wiDOW; liza is captain america; jefferson is batman, madison is robin; i am green lantern; maria is scarlet witch

**burrn:** am i just oscar the grouch or something

**xande:** YOU WEREN’T UNTI LYO USAID THAT

**pegleg:** im glad we had this conversation but now it’s ymy bedtime so BYEEEEEEEEEEE

**hairgelica:** you have,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,a bedtime????????/

**pegleg:** no im just done talking to you losers

**pegleg:** except ange and liza i love u guys with my whole harte and maria also but she’s literally laying next to me so HWATEVER

**heracles:** waitwait peggy why did u ask us this

**pegleg:** project for psych class

**pegleg:** totally worth it

**pegleg:** BIG HUGS TO NO ONE BECAUSE I HATE ALL OF YOU GOODNIGHT !!

**pegleg:** oh and you can take jefferson madison and burr out of the chat

**jeffersin:** Yes, please, remove me from the chat. This is starting to feel like hell.

**xande:** and you would know, since you run the place

**hairgelica:** OHWH HAYTE

**heracles:** [mmmwhatchasay.gif]

**elizard:** HOLYSHIT R O A S T

**johnald:** im tired alex come to bed

**xande:** gladly

 

**_xande_ ** _ has removed  _ **_jeffersin, jmadsatyou_ ** _ and  _ **_burrn_ ** _ from the chat _

 

**hairgelica:** idk madison wasnt actually so bad

**elizard:** yeah if he wasnt so buddybuddy with jefferson i would actually like him

**xande:** weirdly me 2

**heracles:** he’s pretty cool i think

**fluffayette:** if u fuck madiosn while im in france i will burn your head off of your body and then tear out your intestines and tie them in a knot around your body and then throw it into the pacific ocean

**heracles:** ……………………………………………………………………….

**heracles:** im so glad this relationship is built on trust :) :) :))))))))))

**fluffayette:** i was jokin g i love you herc

**fluffayette:** like 60% joking

**heracles:** im going to bed im exhausted from this chat

**xande:** herc is basically our dad

**johnald:** thought washington was our dad

**xande:** in this chat i mean

**thegoodreynolds:** i love this group you guys r the weirdest motherfuckers i ever met

**hairgelica:** awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww maria

**thegoodreynolds:** :’)

**pegleg:** BACK

**pegleg:** THE FUCK OFF

**elizard:** peggy go to SLEEP

**pegleg:** FINE but im taking my girlfriend with me

**thegoodreynolds:** yeah that’s fine goodnight erryone

**xande:** goodnight kiddos

**johnald:** …….?

**xande:** just let it be john. just let it Be.

**johnald:** okay good………………….,,,,night people

**heracles:** ditto

**fluffayette:** i would say goodnight but IT IS 5:30 IN THE MORNING HERE SO

**fluffayette:** good morning

**hairgelica:** good morning laf im going to bednow

**elizard:** me 2

**elizard:** night babes

**hairgelica:** why are all our intense conversations at like. midnight

**elizard:** <3<3<3

**hairgelica:** so what youre saying is it’s all peggy and alex’s fault

**hairgelica:** yeah makes sense

**hairgelica:** GOODNIGHT all

**Author's Note:**

> tysm for reading this SINFULLY LONG chat fic man I write too many chat fics but they're so much fun  
> anyway leave a comment if you liked it and if you want to find me on tumblr @vivilevone feel free to yell at me for this, and yeah have a great day yo!!


End file.
